It does sound like you care for this girl, but please ask yourself: Is it really caring? You either "BOTH" decide to get counseling and stick it out, or more on now before more harm is done.She didn't cheat on him, this happened before they started dating. I would not suggest marriage yet, but if he in all truthfulness can be serious about his feelings for her, and she reciprocates, they just might have a chance - we all deserve at least one in life..
It would be devastating for the child for the only true "father" figure the child has know to walk out. At most the child will be what, 2 or 3 when/if you leave. I dont think you will scar the child emotionally forever by leaving him/her at that age.
The thing is I dont want to be with her for a few years and the child gets attached to me then I decided iv had enough and move on. At most the child will be what, 2 or 3 when/if you leave. I dont think you will scar the child emotionally forever by leaving him/her at that age. Depending on how much emotion you've already invested in her, and you accept her truthfulness - you sound like you can handle the situation.
Thanks for taking the time to read this long post, any advice would help me sleep better than I currently am. Is she planning on raising the kid herself or giving it up for adoption? Do you feel comfortable being with her and a kid thats not yours? Did she cheat on you or did you 2 have an open relationship? Im unsure if I would feel comfortable with the kid or not its so hard to know what to do...
The thing is I don't want to be with her for a few years and the child gets attached to me then I decided I've had enough and move on.
This is new to both of you and if you can bond here, then you just might wind up a happy family after all. If you don't feel that you're ready for that responsibility right now, then in fairness to all concerned you need to end it with her.
On the other hand, if you're ready to be a dad, then go for it.
The thing is if the child was mine I would have no problems, I would support her all the way; but I feel when the baby is born I shall never be as attached to it as I would be if it were mine.
Im only 21 still a baby :p , things where starting to go brilliantly for me; finished my Diploma last year and got a fantastic job that pays well and now this is thrown at me. You say you are very attached to her and "in my heart im a big softie" and "would never want to hurt her." Fist of all, dont worry about hurting her. Question is do you want to be with someone who is pregnant and therefore, with a kid. If you are just lusting after her, then I say leave. Thanks for Replying, Adoption is out, she would never get it done anyway because of there familys strong religious beliefs.
A month ago she told me she was pregnant and it was from a guy that she had a one night stand with she didnt use protection...
She rang the guy to let him know and he wasnt bothered at all, she was OK about the situation explaining to me that she doesnt accept him as a responsible father figure anyway and doesent want to have anything to do with him.
I had a step-dad too and he was better than my mother, so not all can be put into one barrel. I think some users mis-read some of my post - she never cheated on me and I never mentioned anything about "Marriage!