But who the hell am I to complain about that when every guy I DO like ghosts after 2 or 3 dates. As I went to bed I continued this internal arm wrestling and came to no resolution. If I’m going to take this long to find someone to settle down with, I don’t want him to die early on me. No I’m not asking you for a hot date out on Wednesday night out at the senior center playing this game that is wildly popular with toney Miami octogenarians (LOL!! ) and pretty, and expresses his delight at the fact that I fit both of these requirements (lucky me). (we’re about 3 long paragraphs in at this point so we’re not even halfway through the email.)After the usual few sentences of what he does for a living, flattering adjectives to describe himself, he throws in: I can be both very passionate and romantic or hot and nasty depending upon the situation and my mood. However yesterday, being in a good mood, I change my mind so I text him to see if he still is free.(hehehehe, ok so I didn’t call him but I have been looking for reason to use this gif for awhile and here it is! So I didn’t recognize him when he emailed me on Match. Classy lady alert #2: the night I met him, this was my state: Seriously. See you in 15 minutes or so.”I understand late, but late after YOU were the one who asked if we could move it 30 minutes later? So he goes up to another couple and asks if we can share their booth with them. Well, we actually met 3 years ago when we were out but, this is our first real date.”I stare pointedly at him, trying to tell him with my face The other couple looks at him oddly and smiles and nods.That’s not to say some 34 year old couldn’t get hit by a bus tomorrow, but regardless, 50 makes me uncomfortable. A SEVEN PARAGRAPHS LONG (plus 2 long paragraph PS’s) manifesto. I fell and ripped my favorite pair of red jeans when I was walking with him to the next bar. I figured if he could get past my drunken state, I could get past the worst hair day of Pauly Shore’s life residing on top of his head. I try to end the awkward by bringing the conversation back to just the two of us and opening my menu so we can order.
I had brought all my stuff with me to work to change so I could go straight there, but whatever, no big deal. So, we’re looking at the menu, discussing selections, when he starts patting himself. You were 15 minutes late after pushing the date 30 minutes AND you forgot your wallet? It is at this point I realize that he is not kidding. He finally puts 2 and 2 together that I’m about to walk out of this date, and his life, forever and so he says let’s go back to my house, leave your car there, and then go to dinner somewhere else.
I figured he was sitting on his wallet oddly, no big deal. Good one, but after this bumpy start, now is not the time to be making this joke. Now, had he been on time, I would’ve been all for saying, “Hey, don’t worry about it.” But since he annoyed me so much with his lateness, I simply said, “What are we going to do? Ya’ll, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t considering just driving on past his house and back to mine, with no explanation. To be fair, he redeemed himself in the 2nd half of the date once we FINALLY got to a restaurant.
He is gazing at me adoringly.“You are SO pretty.”Wait..no…that’s not how this is supposed to go!!! And it’s a family friendly community so surely SOMEONE will be like, ‘Hey, is she alright? Fortunately, my dilemma solved itself because when I got there the waiter had a carafe of wine ready but had not poured it until my date asked him to. I’m not feeling electric sparks or anything, but he’s definitely handsome and charming so I would give him a second shot. He asks how my online dating experience has been, I make a vague allusion to some of the stories on this blog but also mention that the last 2 serious boyfriends I’ve had I met online. ”He briefly talks about some past relationships and then made some comment that made me feel comfortable asking, “Oh, have you been married before? My wife and I are separating.”Needless to say, the date ended quickly after that. Since I’ll be up so early for work by 7 I’m going to be too beat for a run so let’s figure out something another time.”(And by another time, I mean never.)(I declined to say that last part.)My experiment was a big fat failure…a complete success depending on how you look at it. (OK really I don’t consider this a failure but for comedic effect, I’m framing it this way.)Success: My preferring to date men with real jobs and comfortable lifestyles similar to mine is not what’s keeping me from meeting someone.
After dinner we were sitting on the couch talking and he says, “I have to admit to Facebook stalking you a little bit….”Now, we all DO it but few ADMIT it…and for good reason. Back to the scene at hand, I am now trying to figure out the fastest way to exit stage left. Hope that wasn’t too corny, but it was the only joke I could think of at the time, and I promise that they do get better! And it’s a Monday night in your tiny town so someone will definitely notice if you suddenly start sliding off your bar stool and think maybe it’s a little odd. So, we chat, we laugh, everything is going along nicely.
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM.”My problem is I’m not that excited. Never mind that it was my bean allergy that caused this (cross contamination is REAL, y’all), this is clearly not right.…it? I don’t know and I don’t know if I want to find out. A perfectly ordinary, 50 year old man, which is not a dig, I swear. In the interest of full disclosure, I think I need to clarify a couple of things here first. Yes, I am recently divorced (official as of last Wednesday actually! However, a lot of other things have not been finalized yet (yeah I know, weird right?!! I tweaked my profile a little bit as a nod to my paranoia just in case the ex-wife found the site and tried to look up my profile (don’t need any additional drama there, even though she‘s the one who told me I should start dating again after being separated for a few months! To throw anyone off who knows me here in California, I put my place of residence as MN instead of CA.….as I predicted. Anyway, guy asks me for my number but I don’t hear from him so I figure he’s not feeling it. A week later, I get a text from him and he says we should “put our heads together to find a time to connect, but until then, enjoy your dreamy life.” Red Flag #1. If I’m going to have to see a dude for only 30 minutes and/or be forced to drink decaf tea, I’d prefer it to be at the Four Seasons instead of some hippie commune. Encino Man has hair like Pauly Shore…worse, if that’s possible. I was on a date with it.)Classy lady alert #1: I actually made out with Encino Man at a bar 3 years ago. They look at us strangely but say ok and both move to one side of the booth.
I don’t want to rip his clothes off and I couldn’t care less if I see him again. So I leave it to you, people of the interwebs: do I see him again or is this a lost cause? It’s just that I am 33 and 50 is out of my age range. I have had some very attractive 50 year olds email me and I do not bend that “rule”. He goes on about how he’s looking for someone smart, but not TOO smart (um..thanks? Mercifully, after another paragraph about how he is looking forward to hearing from me, he ends the email. But whatever, I’m game for some new stories for the blog, so I’ll play along. He asks me out for a weeknight and I’m in hardcore job mode so I say no, let’s find a weekend. His hair was bad then but man, has time not been kind. All my synapses were firing correctly a few days later and when I realized who he was, I knew I HAD to go out with him, if nothing else than for the story. He finally arrives and wants to get food, but there are no tables available. We sit down and he turns to them and says “So this is our first date.
Were not talking about the fast food chain, but the IT company changing how we viewtechnology.
Kind of an Apple dating cult site for singles who want to find another Mac lover!
This brings a whole new meaning to specialty dating and more. A site which brings together people living on the other side of the corporate world in huge grasslands or open spaces raising animals and sleeping in the fields. Sugar Daddie Simply put, this site is for people trying to get rich quick or reach the American Dream through a shortcut.
Finding your sugar daddy in the club can sometimes be too hard with all the live competition going on. Let the world wide web hook you up with your loaded partner where they will just pay for you to be with them.
The Philippines hope to secure a win against Myanmar and a draw against the reigning Champions Vietnam and Singapore.