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I know lots of guys my age (40s) who are hung up on the idea that they want a 20-something boyfriend.

It's just not a reasonable demand..when I dig deeper I see that they are stunted emotionally in some way, and never had that 'perfect boyfriend' when THEY were in their 20's..can't move on from that until they get some young twink to fall in love with them. I meant to add that hooking up with younger guys is a whole 'nother story.

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It sucks for me, at 41, because most guys my own age whom I try to date are hung up on much younger or older..don't stay in their age range. Straight men and gay men want younger partners, obsess about younger partners, and pay through the sphincter for younger partners. Gay women can try to date at all ages without being jeered at. I’m now in my mid-50s, and I had a partner for almost 20 years until he died a few years ago.

I've always been one to seek out men for relationships who have been on earth about as long as I have, because that's where the most comfort and commonality can occur with a stranger. I don't know if it's because I didn't have a relationship in my 20s or because the younger guys have the look that attracts me -- not many guys in their 40s can pull off the hipster look and not appear ridiculous. I then realized that dating as a 50-year-old was going to be a lot more difficult than when I was 30 for a variety of reasons, including (a) there just aren’t as many guys in my age group; and (b) a lot of them are already partnered. OP, I'm 49, I have no particular interest in guys in their 20s or even their 30s for the most part, but I'm on Scruff and I'm constantly getting messages, woofs, etc., from guys in their 20s - much more than any other age bracket. If you plan to visit the daddy sites that are recommended here, you'd better beef up your bank account.

I am 45, not quite elder-gay but definitely middle-aged (in the truest sense, since I expect to live to be 90, at least). I am most definitely not looking to be a sugar daddy or any kind of daddy for that matter. Are there any dating websites geared toward this demographic, preferably one that isn't promoting a fetish, like silver daddy or bears, etc.?

Doll, in gay years you're not just an eldergay you're pretty much in God's waiting room.

And he went on to say it would be even hotter if I were in my 30s or 40s !!??

I'm 30 years old and have been seeing a 44 year old guy for about 10 months. I know there are guys my age who prefer older men, and not necessarily just for money.

They see me as a slightly older contemporary, as one of their peers.

Being gay, if I was cursed to appear anywhere near my chronological age, I'd probably end it here and now r46 and you will be 45 on your birthday- It changes nothing and when you are 55 you will look 45-.

What exactly is it then, OP, that would interest any of us in one of you?

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