Add a few drops of ylang-ylang essential oil; the aroma is thought to heighten sexual feelings. Many women find themselves withdrawing or not willing to experiment sexually if they're overweight or have a change in shape due to pregnancy, Clayton says.
"Emotionally, we've bought into the media's idealization of what is really sexy.
The fact is that while magazines, blogs, and talk shows are full of advice about how to make your lover, friend-with-benefits, or one night stand explode with pleasure, lots of people aren't having sex as much as they wish they were.
Let's talk honestly about why: The main reason people don't have sex is because it isn't rewarding.
You may also want to try a contraceptive method that doesn’t use hormones, such as condoms, a diaphragm or an IUD. You spend your days working, cooking, working out, taking care of the family.
And, still, at p.m., "you're expected to wave this magic goddess wand," Krychman says.
Shift gears from the harried pace of everyday life with a soothing bath, suggests Health contributor and Los Angeles–based sex therapist Linda De Villers, Ph D.
Plunging into warm water takes you away from the laptops and cell phones that clog up your day.
Then take a hard look at your life (from romance and work to entertainment and family), and give sex the priority it deserves. You start taking oral contraceptives (OCs) so you can have worry-free sex.
If you have to schedule sex like you do a meeting, do it! Then the magic little pills start sapping your sex drive. OCs contain estrogen, which increases the production of a protein called sex-hormone binding globulin (SHBG), says Michael Krychman, MD, medical director of sexual medicine at Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach, California, and executive director of the Southern California Center for Sexual Health and Survivorship Medicine.
You can chalk it up to a sheer lack of time, but there are a slew of other reasons, too — from weight gain and perimenopause to technology overload (stop texting now) in the bedroom. So why do so many of us insist on bringing third parties— laptops, PDAs, Law & Order — into the boudoir?