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While I have yet to be able to consider a guy in his twenties, I stopped ignoring the men in their mid-thirties.

If a 34-year-old wants to meet for a drink, and he’s not awkward or crude in his messages, I’ll meet him. Same goes for the man in his early fifties that I once considered “too old.” What’s the harm? Here’s what I noticed once I stopped caring about meeting other people’s expectation: I started getting more dates.

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At 38, I selected maybe as my answer about wanting to start a family. My profile views included very, very few peeks from men between 37 and 47 in New York City.

I was the Belle of The Ball for men in the suburbs, though.

It wasn’t some magical potion or love spell that I chanted that made this happen. If I didn’t get any replies to my messages, I didn’t dwell. Being able to sit back and let things unfold naturally sans some stopwatch over my head allowed me to really see people for who they were. I was enjoying myself, which is really what dating is all about.

I channeled my dating energies toward the men who did want me. If I saw someone cute whose profile was snappy, I emailed them and said, “You should have messaged me. If they requested more pictures or asked probing questions, I declined. There were no voices in my head warning me that a particular relationship might not lead to commitment or marriage. Everything doesn’t have to lead to happily ever after.

Here at 40 plus dating, we have been helping people like you for many years.

As the name suggests we specialise in mature dating for the over 40’s and currently have over three million clients in the UK alone!

I also didn’t want to pursue men that I thought I was supposed to want.

By 42, I had started to become quite comfortable with the idea that it may end up being just me for the foreseeable future. With those two things off the table, I realized that there was no reason for me not to take advantage of my options.

Normally I wouldn’t consider dating someone that young, but the big four zero was looming and I had decided that I wanted to have a date on my birthday. I went from getting two to three responses for every 10 messages I sent out to maybe one.

I was also well aware of the single woman to single man ratio in Manhattan. Most of the men in their late thirties to mid-forties were looking for a partner with whom they could have children. I didn’t see the point in leading someone to believe I would give them something they wanted knowing I wouldn’t. I literally fell off the island of Manhattan as far as OK Cupid was concerned.

Whether you’re new to dating for the over 40’s or have tried it before, signing up is quick and easy.

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